Behind That Smile

“I put on a smile and say i’m fine and try to hide all sadness i feel inside. But when i’m alone the tears starts to flow and i can no longer hold them inside. Right now, all i need is someone to tell me that everything will be okay”.

You know those moments when you want to cry and hug someone, but can’t do either because you don’t wanna let yourself break down? The moment when you’re feeling so alone? And everything is hurting you? That you feel so helpless? The only thoughts that are in your head are negative and it makes you feel totally alone, like you don’t mean anything to anyone. All you want to do is tell someone how you feel, but you don’t  want their pity, and even if you could tell someone, nothing would come out right. You don’t want to laugh or smile, or whine, or argue, or even be difficult, you just want to go to bed and cry and hope this feeling passes, and sometimes it does, but it always seems to come back. You feel like you will probably search your whole life for that one person that you can totally trust that you can love forever, who will never ever hurt you. But you know somewhere deep down that you’ll probably never find  him/her. He/she probably doesn’t even exist, so you just give up, you won’t so desperately to be alone, but at the same time you fear it so much.